Ana will fill the void?

Soooo I'm kinda blogging a little sooner than i expected. But that's only because things have kind of been going downhill lately.

I might of said before that being mean to myself about what i eat, was pretty much the only way to stop myself. So ive been pretty abusive to myself lately, and heyyyy, its working :)

So instead of eating when things go downhill, i wont eat, ill sleep, && ill exercise.

So far so good :)

Its like 95 degrees here and i put on a pair of sweats a zip up and got on my bike and took a long bike ride, i felt really great afterwards, other than being super hot i mean.

I motivated myself to get out of bed and fucking exercise:)
&& what's even better, is that my stomach is EMPTY so im sure i burned calories that i didnt even need to burn.

Go Chels :)

Okayyyy. So it's been a little while since i last posted something.
I was hoping to maybe get a little more from everyone, but thats okay :)

Anywayssssss.

So i've been trying to cut down on alot of things.
&& it sucks!

I swear to god i've tried to fast again like 5 different times, && each time i fail.

It's like food is ESPECIALLY appealing to me now?

Ima fuckin joke when it comes to this shit.

Comments please && thanks :)

Im new to blogging. Im new to ana.

Okay. So before i get any comments about being a poser or someone who pretends to have something that i know nothing about, id like to just say a few things :) Ive never once pinned the title anorexic to myself. I dont intend to offend anyone by what i say in my blogs. Im simply here to connect with people, who maybe, are struggling with the same thing i am.

My Story.

Im scared to death of gaining weight. Everyday. Its like a raging war in my head, constant, never ending. As much as i want for it to stop, and to just carry out my day like a normal person would, i cant do it. Im constantly thinking about whether i should eat or not, && how much of a failure i would be if i did. I hate that i have to look for thinspiration everyday to keep me from putting those disgusting calories in my body. Im a miserable failure when it comes to not eating. My first fast lasted no longer than 40 1/2 hours. That's absolutely pathetic. Thats not a fast at all. Thats a few skipped meals. I battled myself for 40 1/2 hours, and it ended with me giving up for a little bit of food. My current weight is an absolute embarassment. My ultimate goal weight seems like its impossible to reach. I cant quit though. I will lose the weight. And ana will be my friend through-out it all. I'll have ana to thank when i can finally see my beautiful, beautiful hipbones. Everybody is entitled to their own opinions, Id love to hear everybodies :)

Thats all for now.
Thanks for reading

<3